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Why Staying Close Isn’t Always Connection
You love them. You’re showing up. So why does it feel like nothing is working? Here’s what I want you to consider: the problem might not be how much you’re showing up. It might be how you’re showing up. We’re often handed a false choice when someone we love is struggling with substance use. Either…
Read MoreWhat to Say Instead of Blocking
Someone told you to block your person’s number. Maybe it was a therapist. Maybe an interventionist. Maybe a well-meaning friend who watched you flinch every time your phone buzzed. And honestly? It’s not bad advice. When every text makes your chest tight and you’re checking your phone at 2 AM terrified of what you’ll find,…
Read MoreMile 8 of a 10-Mile Skin
I remember the day clearly. January. Clear blue sky. I was with a small group doing backcountry ski tour —ten miles round trip, most of it uphill. “It’ll be good for you,” I said to myself, “I need to get out of my head.” I’d been stuck in my head for months. My son was…
Read MoreWhy Recovery Isn’t a Sprint
The Winter Olympics are about to begin, and this year they’re adding a new event: ski mountaineering. Skimo, as it’s called. Athletes race uphill on skis with climbing skins, then rip them off for a fast descent, only to climb again. It’s brutal. It’s all about endurance, strategy, and knowing when to push and when…
Read MoreStarting the Year Soft
I was taught to start strong. This year, I’m choosing soft instead. I am terrible with directions. Truly terrible. My husband likes to joke that if I’m ever lost, I should pick a direction and then immediately turn around — because I’m almost always headed the opposite of correct. It’s funny because it’s true, but…
Read MoreThe Coat I Tried to Hand Off
A few winters ago, I noticed something that I had never really seen in myself before. It was one of those cold evenings where everyone walks around bundled up, weighed down, trying to stay warm. My son was going through a hard season, and I remember watching him come through the door, feeling uncomfortable with…
Read MoreThe Coats They Carry
There’s a moment in Chapter 2 of Parallel Recovery® that still makes me pause, because it reveals something most families don’t mean, but often do. We hand our heavy coats to the very people who are already struggling to stand upright. Not intentionally.Not carelessly.But because we are scared and we don’t know what else to do.…
Read MoreThe Things We Pack by Mistake
When the wildfire came too close to our home, we had minutes to leave. The sky was dark, the air heavy, and my phone wouldn’t stop dinging with messages from neighbors: We need to evacuate. It’s coming fast. We loaded what we could into two cars, a blur of clothes, papers, photos in arms reach,…
Read MoreThe Hard That Heals
In the summer of 2012, the mountains I love taught me something I didn’t want to learn. We were at a swim meet under a hot, bright sky, the bikes were on the back of the car for an afternoon ride, and my phone started buzzing with the same question from different friends: Can you…
Read MoreComing Back to Me
There are seasons in life when everything feels like forward motion – doing, fixing, planning, managing, helping. For many years, that was how I measured progress, my own, and others’. If I was moving, I must be okay. If I was doing something to help my son, maybe we’d both be okay. But there comes…
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